The weather is gloomy and wet here in San Diego. I have been working very hard to accomplish and achieve many things. From creating blogs, videos, jewelry, yoga classes, events it's feels good to be consistent, grounded, and disciplined. I have hardly spent a moment in the last couple months to stop and relax. I have moment when I clean, make jewelry, practice and teach yoga, walk, Surf and sit where there's self contemplation and stillness, however it's different. ⠀⠀
To give myself the opportunity to unlearn what I have come to know as "the way things are" is to move beyond the boundaries of my own conditioning.
I can easily take a look at my darkness, feel the suffering, pain and discomfort, to see and understand why I do, think and feel and what it's all for. It is also my nature to be free, light and happy. Both serve me to better understand myself and to direct myself through life. ⠀⠀
With the dawning of spring it is time to trust the fertile ground I have spend this winter in, to really open up each moment to life and it's unfolding magnificence. Therefore, what I am feeling today is valid, the slow, dull, sluggishness of a grey sky and my desire to simply be and not do. I will not touch my list today, not seek to accomplish tasks just to create more. I will not ponder whether I should do this or that, i will not doubt my innate ability to relax and rest. I shall simply be and whatever that means today it will be enough.
Follow the urge, listen to the feelings. I can't always be doing, going accomplishing, task by task living. It's fun since I am doing what I love and I can witness the unfolding of being aligned with my highest self and to see instantly the manifestation of my passions into reality, to feel the flow, the timelessness the love. Listen, trust and BE.
Trust your gut.
Do I talk about this or keep it to myself? For days I’ve contemplated sharing recent life events. I’ve decided to show up and share for maybe just one of you that needed to read it:
Since day one 1 of owning this account and starting this business, “raising money for domestic violence” has waived at the bottom of my bio. While this reflection is NOT about violence in my own home NOR by the hands of my dear husband, it is about violence. This reflection is about how I was physically hurt by someone that I know (not in my home.)
When I was a child I was witness to very scary domestic violence and it’s been my mission to help support women who are trying to escape those horrors. ⬅️ that is my why.
Approximately 4 years ago a person that I know, let’s call him James, physically intimidated me and verbally threatened my son. Mutual acquaintances of James and myself DID NOT BELIEVE ME. You see James was clever and did not leave witnesses to the confrontation he had with me, but I knew in that moment and in those threats he was to be feared. *Trust your gut and believe a person when they say they will harm you*
The turmoil from me speaking up caused problems and severely fractured relationships. I was told, this doesn’t sound like James, this is not in his character, I was told I was a liar and over dramatizing. Over time some relationships mended and things were forgotten until recently. *trust your gut*
I was not sure if James would be around at this one event that we would be attending, but I developed an ulcer at the thought of having to possibly be around James. Mistakenly I pushed all my feelings aside and nursed my ulcer and went. I noticed James right away and stayed away most of the event. Eventually the night ended like this: He grabbed me and shook me from side to side before pushing me toward the ground. My arm is bruised, my back is bad off and my nerves are shot. *trust your gut*
The fault for torn relationships and fractures lies with the violent individual, not you. Protect yourself and listen to that tiny voice inside you. And by all means, speak your truth even if your voice shakes.
ALWAYS trust your gut.
Don't ever compare yourself to others. Craft your own individuality & be yourself, have your own sense of style & embrace the chaos within you. Love yourself bcoz u have Come a long way, you are stronger than you think, moreover 'Trust' Yourself! believe in what you are doing where you are going, believe in your journey, believe in your struggles, believe ardently, believe in your goals, believe in your Dreams.
You are a beautiful soul, Smile bcz you are the strongest, Laugh bcz u r the bravest,#
👉A LITTLE STORY TIME TODAY👈
🙋This photo was taken on the day of my graduation at my University where 40k later, I finally recieved my Bachelor of Commerce with a major in Hospitality and Tourism management. I also had a leadership position already lined up for me. Yay? I suppose this statement is supposed to make me look more qualified? 🙅 I was probably the skinniest I've ever been from work, not sleeping right and not eating right. Mentally meh not quite there and now had to think about paying off school debt. Now, don't get me wrong. I loved the people I worked with and I recieved education that not many people in the world are blessed to recieve. HOWEVER, my INTENTIONS behind the choices I made were not the right intentions.
🙋I went to University and, TO BE HONEST, just chose my program because I didnt know what else to choose and it's what you're told to do - go to post secondary. I sucked at science and math 😂. So, business was my last resort.
🙋I worked my ass off and just grew in the field I chose because in my mind that's what society deems successful. You know, full time job, benefits etc, so you can pay off debt, then save for a home, then get married, have kids, then retire and then die.
🙋Now, I'm here. Back at square one. And it's the HAPPIEST I've ever been.
😕 SO, WHAT'S MY POINT?
🙋My point is, before you make CHOICES, make them with the right INTENT. Don't put yourself into situations you'll regret down the road so you can say in a conversation "I did this, this and this and now I have this". It's NOT WORTH IT.
💛 At the end of the day, I'm grateful for my opportunities & experiences I've had. BUT, this time around - it's my turn to make choices for me, not for society and not for a conversation.